I am in my early 40s. I live in Nairobi. I am married with two children aged 2 and 8 months old. My wife is a stay-at-home mum. I have been employed in the civil service since my late 20s. I make Sh69,000 net which I spend as follows: Rent Sh16,000, Shopping and groceries Sh20,000, gas refill Sh2,500, Power and water Sh2,000, GoTv and home internet Sh4,000, parents Sh5,000, mobile loans Sh14,000, chama loan Sh8,500. I had taken a chama loan of Sh150,000 to prepare for our newborn and to pay for surgery. I have paid for 8 months and I still have about 10 more months to go. I am constantly broke and I am always taking Fuliza to make ends meet. This month, my wife has been calling me ‘Fuliza’ in fits of rage after I took Sh5,600 Fuliza from her phone behind her back to meet some urgent bills at home. I laugh it off but I am hurting and wondering what I am doing wrong. I don't enjoy going to work because it all seems futile. I am tired. Please help me.

Rodney

Muthoni Njakwe is an accountant and the author of Her Shilling, Her Power: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Freedom.

First of all, I want to commend you for what you have already achieved. Although your income feels stretched to the limit, you have continued to provide for your family.

That said, your current challenge is not simply that you keep using Fuliza. Fuliza is only a symptom of a much deeper financial problem. Before we discuss how to stop borrowing, it is important to identify the real issue. Once you understand the root cause, the solution becomes much clearer.

Based on the information you have shared, your total monthly expenses amount to Sh72,000 against a net monthly income of Sh69,000. Immediately, one thing becomes apparent: your monthly expenses already exceed your income by Sh3,000, and that is before accounting for transport, airtime, medical expenses, diapers, clothing or any unexpected emergencies.

This means that even if you completely stopped using Fuliza today, you would still run out of money before the end of the month because your household is already operating at a monthly deficit.

The real issue is not your dependence on Fuliza. It is that your current household obligations have outgrown your monthly income. Until that gap is closed, either by reducing expenses, increasing income or a combination of both, short-term borrowing is likely to remain part of your monthly cycle.

Confront the underlying issue

Before asking yourself how to stop using Fuliza, ask yourself one simple question: Why do I keep needing Fuliza every month?

From what you have shared, the answer is quite clear. Your family is living on a single income while supporting two infants, repaying two different loans and assisting your parents. Your monthly obligations have simply become larger than your current income.

Borrowing often begins because a household is already operating at a deficit. Until that deficit is eliminated, one form of borrowing simply replaces another.

It is also important to recognise that the Sh150,000 chama loan was not taken for lifestyle spending. You took it to prepare for the birth of your child and to pay for surgery.

Those were necessary family expenses, not discretionary purchases.
The encouraging part is that you have only about ten months remaining before you complete repaying the loan. That means your current financial pressure is not permanent.

Avoid making Fuliza part of your monthly budget

You mentioned that you have become accustomed to relying on Fuliza to make it to the end of every month. The danger is not simply the interest or fees. The danger is that Fuliza slowly becomes part of your income.

Once that happens, every salary begins with money already committed to yesterday's expenses. Instead of seeing Fuliza as an emergency facility, it becomes an extension of your salary. That is a cycle you should deliberately work to break, even if progress is gradual.

Focus on improving your monthly cash flow

Your financial recovery over the next ten months should focus on creating breathing room within your monthly budget.

Ask yourselves as a family: Can grocery spending be reduced modestly through meal planning and bulk buying? Is GoTv necessary during this season, or can it be suspended temporarily? Can the mobile loans be consolidated or restructured to reduce the monthly repayments?

Together, these changes can make a meaningful difference to your monthly cash flow.

Create an emergency fund

One of the reasons you have become dependent on Fuliza is that your household has no emergency fund to absorb unexpected expenses. As a result, even relatively small emergencies force you to borrow.

Begin by setting aside a portion of the Sh8,500 you will have built a modest emergency fund. This money should be reserved strictly for genuine emergencies, such as unexpected medical expenses, urgent household repairs or temporary loss of income, not for routine monthly expenses.

Increase your household income

As a civil servant, you may wish to explore opportunities to supplement your income, provided they comply with your employer's policies. This could be consultancy work, tutoring, farming, freelancing or any other side venture that leverages your skills and experience.

Over time, as your youngest child grows older and your family's circumstances allow, your wife may consider returning to work or starting a home-based or part-time business. Even a modest second income can make a meaningful difference to your household finances.

Rebuild trust within your marriage

While I understand that you were trying to meet urgent household expenses, financial decisions involving your spouse should always be made openly.

I do not think the biggest issue is the Sh5,600 itself. The bigger issue is trust. Financial stress places enormous pressure on marriages. I would encourage both of you to sit down and have an honest conversation about your household finances. Review your income, your expenses, your debts and your financial goals together. Once both of you understand the family's financial position, it becomes much easier to work as partners instead of blaming one another.

For the next 10 to 12 months, make it your priority to eliminate the monthly deficit, break your dependence on Fuliza, build an emergency fund and gradually increase your household income.

Finally, remember this: you have not failed. You are simply going through one of the most financially demanding seasons of life. This season will pass. Stay disciplined, remain patient and focus on solving the real problem.

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